|
[25 Sep 2006|08:51pm] |
i'm skipping my art class tonight. i don't know why, i just feel like it.
i'm having a hard time with finding peace. i think i'm content one minute but then i feel as if i should mess things up and work through them again to possibly feel better. god that really makes me feel crazy. i think i have some chemical imbalances going on up in my brain. i think its the food i've been eating or should i say not eating lately. i blame everything on food. my mom told me to eat a box of doughnuts the other day. everytime she makes comments like that i just run the other nasty remarks she's made about me being fat. la de da a normal mother-daughter relationship. it doesn't bother me much, not really at all. i actually get giddy nowadays whenever anyone speaks to me.
oh i have a wonderful bully in two of my classes. she is a girl, the same girl. a late 20-something girl. i refrain from calling her a woman because she does not treat me like any woman should. i dont know why she does the things she does. i haven't felt so heated in a very long time so again, i don't really mind her that much. it's nice to feel sometimes.
i'm looking forward to the days when i'll be a little stronger than i am now.
until then i will wake up, hope to die, feel a need to live, have front row seats to the movie about my life in my head (of course starring me), run those same thoughts in my head again maybe this time with some catchy music in the backround, not cry because it's weak, and feel nostalgic every damn second of everyday. it just seemed like a good time to use damn.
i am somewhat of an adult after all.
i am bitter right now, i can tell. i'm just lonely and i say lonely because it is so easy to say. everyone is lonely and never satisfied. so really i feel nothing. i am just blank. a big fat blank
|
|
|
[14 Sep 2006|11:59am] |
i'm 5'4'', not 5'5.5''. can someone actually shrink? lose an inch and a half in height? i did, i did!
a defected tape measure perhaps... but i will leave that to my imagination and your's (or should i say yours' in hope that more than one person still reads these entries?). bah anyways
i'm doing well. life is hard but i am in it. kevin left his camera here so i'll think about taking some pictures to keep someone out there up to date with what i look like. my hair is a little longer but that is about it.
matts kind of going through a hard time. i think he's homesick from texas. this place has a way of really bringing you down good before you start feeling good... or at least content. but i feel good. it has taken time but i am there. for now..
he likes soft music and romantic comedies so i'll keep him around :)
everytime i drink a spring jasmine tea i think of kairsten.
among a whole lot of other things i do daily
i miss girls
the girls
my girls
kairsten and melissa
and i will shout it all over livejournal
so getting back to the height thing i was just thinking that when i moved here (the initial time my sister measured me) i had much bigger hair! higher, yes yes.
eureka!
|
|
|
[05 Sep 2006|05:37pm] |
|
screw long hair!! that is really how i feel right now. i think? i really would like a short short hair do to run my fingers through and bam out the door. yes yes yes! no, i really shouldn't. i don't have the face... :(
|
|
|
[01 Nov 2005|09:51am] |
i'm in the fort mojave public library and this is a strange, strange town that i live in now. i live in a best western, sooo the best way to get in touch with me is by calling my cell phone. i miss you all more than ever
anyways, i think my sister and i are moving in the house soon. i'm taking a few classes at the community college here.. and i have a job at hastings. that's about it.. i've been cruisin the town lately, but there's not much here :(
you all are in my heart :)
|
|
|
[25 Aug 2005|04:24pm] |
i just finished cleaning kairsten's appartment..so now im just waiting for someone to get home
i wish i was in college now
soon i'll be in arizona!!! very soon
|
|
|
[14 Aug 2005|11:56pm] |
i miss my best friends already
i've been spending time by myself lately, and i dont really like to.
i love being around people.. but i'm not lonely or anything, i just need to work on myself. tomorrow i'm going to get my phone fixed and run some other errands
then sometime next week go to kennesaw to drive down to milledgeville with kairsten. we're bringing mel her favorite goodies to help her feel at home down there (cookie cake and cherry coke)..
i am so proud of all of you college kids, it's such an exciting and great experience for you.
less than a month i'm out of here!
i love you all
|
|
|
[11 Aug 2005|02:32pm] |
i am BROKE and i don't know if the show last night was worth all of my money
but i did see some people i haven't seen in awhile and met some new ones soo i guess that was worth it
taco bell put sour cream in my burrito so i didn't eat it.. damn you taco bell
anyways it looks like it's going to be a nice day
722 was good the other night.. but i think i am one of those who says "oh yeah that would be cool to be closer to God.." but then not do anything about it.
everyone is moving away and growing up..and i think it's cool
|
|
|
[08 Aug 2005|03:07pm] |
i am feeling a lot better. my heart is at peace
i have been a real bad pms case these past few weeks.. so i am very very sorry for that. and i'm also sorry to someone i got close to then acted like a jerk about everything. i do need to chill out, and i hope you forgive me.
anyway, i found out the other day that my mom hates moes burritos. i took her there for lunch and she said the tortilla tasted like rubber.. ha. in kennesaw i was a very bad vegan. kairsten's peer pressure...bitch haha. just kidding i love you. well i'm back on track now, and i think melissa and i are going to the health food restaurant downtown today. but i dont know, i dont have much of an appetite right now.
i hope everyone is doing really well and for you high schoolers, i hope it was a nice day back.
i never thought i would be a "man-hater"..but lately i have been.
i want to be a man-lover again :)
|
|
|
[07 Aug 2005|07:12pm] |
i'm sorry if i have been distant lately from some of you
i definitely don't mean to, it's just i've had a lot on my mind lately and i think i'm sick now
i love you all and no hard feelings
|
|
|
[03 Aug 2005|11:34pm] |
warped tour was pretty sweet
i have some mint condoms now, so boys i'm ready for action!! hahaha
no, but really
so yeah..same old stuff, i'm in kennesaw again
i saw melissa some today at warped tour, that was nice and jeremy tooooo
and some other people i haven't seen in awhile
today was full of good music, good friends, and lots of laughs
hallmark anyone
|
|
|
[01 Aug 2005|01:35pm] |
|
i've been driving my mom around all day, so now we're home waiting for a real estate agent to come. ah they're here. ok so i really didn't want to say much but i love everyone and starbucks
|
|
|
[28 Jul 2005|12:52pm] |
home sweet home.. not
but yes, i am home now so call me and leave me a sweet little message and i'll call you back on a phone that actually works. it's open house here, which means i can not and will not stay home
4044096696
love you all
|
|
|
[27 Jul 2005|12:43am] |
( Read more... )
i'm at kairsten's apartment, killing some time
|
|
|
[25 Jul 2005|11:45pm] |
i dont think people realize what they have
i dont like feeling that i'm being taken for granted
i know i'm nice and friendly, and i am because that's how i want to be treated
so grow up
|
|
|
[23 Jul 2005|07:20pm] |
my dad sat me down today and we talked by the pool. he's worried that soon my life will be moving too fast for me to handle.but deep down, i think i like having responsibility. i need to prove this to my parents, that i can do it. i can move away and live my life. then he told me that he thinks it would be best for me to skip first semester of school and to work and save up money..
i've been thinking about it, and it does sound like a good idea. so.. moving is getting pushed back.. again i guess, ha. september 1st.
soon, real soon i will be driving myself around. i don't know what has stopped me from going through with it, but i'm ready. i'm ready to start my life and to be a better person.
i feel like cleaning now
spanglish is a really good movie.
|
|
|
[21 Jul 2005|03:54pm] |
thanks to kennesaw daniel, i burned joanna newsom's cd.. and i am in love with her now.
i think melissa and i are going to hang out tonight. last night was amazing with the girls. we went to the olive garden and i drank waaay too much coffee at starbucks (like always). melissa tried the new green tea frap.. and it tasted weird.. and yes i had a sip even though it probably had milk in it.
my stomach was killing my all night, so i thought today i would be in a bad mood.. but i am so happy..?
i love everyone in my life right now.. new friends and old.
everyone should go to aaron's appartment tomorrow night for his all acoustic show. i have a feeling it's going to be a fun night
i'm getting a lot more freckles, which i thought would be impossible.
but i like them and i don't understand why some people want to get plastic surgery to change their entire face around.
beauty is in everyone
i love you friends
|
|
|
[19 Jul 2005|11:21pm] |
new screen name: caaassssiiie
so talk to me pleeease
ok love you
|
|
|
[17 Jul 2005|07:40pm] |
everyone is busy tonight so i'm going to paint
i'm sick of writing in my real journal.. i swear too much and say mean things about boys and myself.
i want to go to the dollar movie tonight because i have 3 dollars
i don't really want to go with a boy though, i'm sick of them.
except for austin powers because it's on right now and i love hairy chests..? ick
call me because i love all of you
|
|
|
[15 Jul 2005|08:59pm] |
|
i just need to chill the hell out and stop acting like such a girl
|
|
|
[10 Jul 2005|11:47am] |
ok, i am not going to be an angry person anymore. in a little more than a week i will be away from these people pissing me off... so i might as well get over it now. i love them, but they just frustrate the heck out of me.
when your friends call, call them back
maybe i expect too much out of people..?
my grandparents are in town, so obviously i really want to get out of here.
some people i'm just not going to miss.. <3
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
cassie_louu's journal