cassie

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 01:13:00 GMT

i'm skipping my art class tonight. i don't know why, i just feel like it.

i'm having a hard time with finding peace. i think i'm content one minute but then i feel as if i should mess things up and work through them again to possibly feel better. god that really makes me feel crazy. i think i have some chemical imbalances going on up in my brain. i think its the food i've been eating or should i say not eating lately. i blame everything on food. my mom told me to eat a box of doughnuts the other day. everytime she makes comments like that i just run the other nasty remarks she's made about me being fat. la de da a normal mother-daughter relationship. it doesn't bother me much, not really at all. i actually get giddy nowadays whenever anyone speaks to me.

oh i have a wonderful bully in two of my classes. she is a girl, the same girl. a late 20-something girl. i refrain from calling her a woman because she does not treat me like any woman should. i dont know why she does the things she does. i haven't felt so heated in a very long time so again, i don't really mind her that much. it's nice to feel sometimes.

i'm looking forward to the days when i'll be a little stronger than i am now.
until then i will wake up, hope to die, feel a need to live, have front row seats to the movie about my life in my head (of course starring me), run those same thoughts in my head again maybe this time with some catchy music in the backround, not cry because it's weak, and feel nostalgic every damn second of everyday. it just seemed like a good time to use damn.
i am somewhat of an adult after all.

i am bitter right now, i can tell. i'm just lonely and i say lonely because it is so easy to say. everyone is lonely and never satisfied. so really i feel nothing. i am just blank. a big fat blank

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 16:18:42 GMT

i'm 5'4'', not 5'5.5''. can someone actually shrink? lose an inch and a half in height? i did, i did!
a defected tape measure perhaps... but i will leave that to my imagination and your's (or should i say yours' in hope that more than one person still reads these entries?). bah anyways

i'm doing well. life is hard but i am in it. kevin left his camera here so i'll think about taking some pictures to keep someone out there up to date with what i look like. my hair is a little longer but that is about it.

matts kind of going through a hard time. i think he's homesick from texas. this place has a way of really bringing you down good before you start feeling good... or at least content. but i feel good. it has taken time but i am there. for now..
he likes soft music and romantic comedies so i'll keep him around :)

everytime i drink a spring jasmine tea i think of kairsten.
among a whole lot of other things i do daily

i miss girls
the girls
my girls
kairsten and melissa
and i will shout it all over livejournal

so getting back to the height thing i was just thinking that when i moved here (the initial time my sister measured me) i had much bigger hair! higher, yes yes.

eureka!

Tue, 05 Sep 2006 21:36:57 GMT

screw long hair!! that is really how i feel right now. i think? i really would like a short short hair do to run my fingers through and bam out the door. yes yes yes! no, i really shouldn't. i don't have the face... :(

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 16:56:14 GMT

i'm in the fort mojave public library and this is a strange, strange town that i live in now. i live in a best western, sooo the best way to get in touch with me is by calling my cell phone. i miss you all more than ever

anyways, i think my sister and i are moving in the house soon. i'm taking a few classes at the community college here.. and i have a job at hastings. that's about it.. i've been cruisin the town lately, but there's not much here :(

you all are in my heart :)

Thu, 25 Aug 2005 20:28:45 GMT

i just finished cleaning kairsten's appartment..so now im just waiting for someone to get home
i wish i was in college now
soon i'll be in arizona!!! very soon

Mon, 15 Aug 2005 04:10:25 GMT

i miss my best friends already
i've been spending time by myself lately, and i dont really like to.
i love being around people.. but i'm not lonely or anything, i just need to work on myself. tomorrow i'm going to get my phone fixed and run some other errands
then sometime next week go to kennesaw to drive down to milledgeville with kairsten. we're bringing mel her favorite goodies to help her feel at home down there (cookie cake and cherry coke)..
i am so proud of all of you college kids, it's such an exciting and great experience for you.

less than a month i'm out of here!
i love you all

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 18:43:56 GMT

i am BROKE and i don't know if the show last night was worth all of my money
but i did see some people i haven't seen in awhile and met some new ones soo i guess that was worth it

taco bell put sour cream in my burrito so i didn't eat it.. damn you taco bell
anyways it looks like it's going to be a nice day
722 was good the other night.. but i think i am one of those who says "oh yeah that would be cool to be closer to God.." but then not do anything about it.
everyone is moving away and growing up..and i think it's cool

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 19:08:19 GMT

i am feeling a lot better. my heart is at peace
i have been a real bad pms case these past few weeks.. so i am very very sorry for that. and i'm also sorry to someone i got close to then acted like a jerk about everything. i do need to chill out, and i hope you forgive me.

anyway, i found out the other day that my mom hates moes burritos. i took her there for lunch and she said the tortilla tasted like rubber.. ha. in kennesaw i was a very bad vegan. kairsten's peer pressure...bitch haha. just kidding i love you. well i'm back on track now, and i think melissa and i are going to the health food restaurant downtown today. but i dont know, i dont have much of an appetite right now.

i hope everyone is doing really well and for you high schoolers, i hope it was a nice day back.

i never thought i would be a "man-hater"..but lately i have been.
i want to be a man-lover again :)

Sun, 07 Aug 2005 23:15:02 GMT

i'm sorry if i have been distant lately from some of you
i definitely don't mean to, it's just i've had a lot on my mind lately and i think i'm sick now
i love you all and no hard feelings

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 03:43:59 GMT

warped tour was pretty sweet
i have some mint condoms now, so boys i'm ready for action!! hahaha
no, but really

so yeah..same old stuff, i'm in kennesaw again
i saw melissa some today at warped tour, that was nice and jeremy tooooo
and some other people i haven't seen in awhile

today was full of good music, good friends, and lots of laughs
hallmark anyone

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 17:37:31 GMT

i've been driving my mom around all day, so now we're home waiting for a real estate agent to come. ah they're here. ok so i really didn't want to say much but i love everyone and starbucks

Thu, 28 Jul 2005 16:54:57 GMT

home sweet home.. not

but yes, i am home now so call me and leave me a sweet little message and i'll call you back on a phone that actually works. it's open house here, which means i can not and will not stay home
4044096696

love you all

Wed, 27 Jul 2005 05:43:04 GMT

[information]
1. name: cassie
2. Single or taken: single
3. Sex: female
5. Sign: aries
6. Sibling(s): 2 sisters
7. Hair color: brown and blonde
8. Eye color: brown
9. Shoe size: 6 1/2-7
10. Height: 5'5''

[relationships]
1. Who is your best friend?: kairsten and melissa
2. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nope

[specific]
1. Do you do drugs?: no
2. Do you smoke? : not realllly
3. What kind of shampoo do you use?: garnier frutis(sp.)
4. What are you most scared of?: rocky and bullwinkle
5. What are you listening to right now? kairsten on the phone with daryl
6. Who is the last person that called you?: aaron brown
7. Where do you want to get married?: some place beautiful

[favorites]
1. Color: green
2. Food: artichokes(sp.) and hot dogs
3. boy's names: peyton, spencer
4. Girl's names: sunshine, louise
5. Subjects in school: art
6. Animals: frog
7. Sports: baseball

[have you ever]
1. Given anyone a bath? yaah
2. Smoked: yes
3. Bungee jumped? no
4. Made yourself throw up: i'm sure
5. Skinny-dipped: not yetttt
6. Made yourself cry to get out of trouble: yes
7. Pictured your crush naked: haha heeeeck yes
8. Actually seen your crush naked: mhm
9. Cried when someone died: yes
10. Lied: yes
11. Fallen for your best friend: in the second grade, andy caster
12. Been rejected: yes
13. Rejected someone: yes
14. Used someone: i hope not
15. Done something you regret: yes

[current]
1. Clothes: brandon's basketball shorts and t shirt
2. Music: none
3. make-up: none
4. Smell: none
5. Favorite artist: kairsten and melissa :) haha
6. Favorite group: currently: hm
7. Desktop picture: kairsten and daryl kissing (i am not on my computer)
8. Book you're reading: i know this much is true by wally lamb
9. Dvd in player: i dont know

[last person]
1. You touched: kairsten
2. You imed: no one recently
3. Yelled at: kairsten probably
4. You danced with: myself
5. You laughed with: kairsten
6. You hugged: my mom/dad

[are you]
1. Understanding: very much so
2. Open-minded: more than i should be
3. Arrogant: sometimes
4. Interesting: i hope so
5. Random: yes
6. Hungry: no
7. Smart: not as smart as i'd like to be
8. Moody: i can get really moody
9. Hardworking: sometimes
10. Organized: no
11. Healthy: usually
12. Shy: around people i dont know
13. Difficult: i try not to be
14. Attractive: ehh
15. Bored easily: yes
16. Messy: sometimes
17. Responsible: i try to be
18. Obsessed: no
19. Angry: i try not to be
20. Sad: not lately
21. Happy: a lot
22. Hyper: sometimes
23. Trusting: yes
24. Talkative: i talk too much
25. Legal: yes

[random]
1. In the morning I am: ready to start a new day
2. All I need is: love
3. Love is: cool
4. I dream about: the future
[this or that]
1. Coke or pepsi: pepsi
2. Flowers or candy: tulips(!!!)
3. Tall or short: tall

[opposite sex]
1. What do you notice first: smile
2. Last person you slow danced with: probably thomas.. it has obviously been awhile
3. Who makes you laugh the most: probably kairsten
4. Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: hm
5. Who do you have a crush on: top secret
6. Who has a crush on you: nobody

[do you ever]
1. Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone to IM you: gosh i hope not
2. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: sometimes, but i would be a pretty gay dude
3. Wish you were younger: too much
4. Cry because someone said something to you: yes

[number]
1. Of time I have had my heart broken: once- but not really
2. Of hearts I have broken: hopefully none, but maybe 2?
3. Of guys I've kissed: 2-3?
4. Of girls I've kissed: i try to but get shot down everytime..damn. haha psh
5. Of continents I have lived in: one
6. Of tight friends: 2-3, all my girrrls
7. Of cd's i own: enough
8. Of scars on my body: too many
9. Of things that i regret: nothing really

[final questions]
1. Do you like filling these out: sometimes, it passes the time a lot
2. How many people do you think will look at this?: i dont know
3. Rock or Rap: rock
4. Boys or Girls: boys
5. Gold or silver: white gold, platinum
6. What was the last film you saw at the movies: robots..its been awhile
7. Favorite movie: sleepless in seatle
8. What did you have for breakfast this morning: nothing

9. Who would you love being locked in a room with: hahaha probably aaron
10. Could you live without your computer: yes
11. Would you color your hair: it is
12. Could you ever get off the computer: yes
13. Habla espanol: si
14. Like watching sunrises or sunsets: sunsets
15. Do you believe in love: yes
16. Do you believe in love at first sight: i dont really know
17. Do you believe in forgiveness: yes, it's hard

1) Name?: cassie
2) Date of birth?: april 08, 1987
3) Sex?: female
4) Height?: 5'5''
5) Eye color?: brown
6) Hair color?: brown/blonde
7) Location?: kairsten's kitchen
8) Where were you born?: san diego
9) Are you a virgin?: no
10) Do you have crush on someone?: maaaybe
11) Do you have a bf/gf?: nope
12) What are you wearing right now? brandon's basketball shorts and tshirt
13) Would you have sex before marriage?: already have, so yes
14) Have you ever had a crush on any of your teachers? heeellll yes. coach jones baby
15) Do you smoke?: not really
16) Do you drink?: no
17) Are you Ghetto?: ghetto booty
18) Are you a player?: no
19) What are your favorite colors?: green
20) What is your favorite animal?: frogs
21) Do you have any birthmarks? yes,2
22) Have you ever gotten your ass kicked?: i dont think so
23) Who is your best friend?: kairsten and melissa
24) Have you ever beaten someone up?: no
25) Have you ever been slapped?: i think so
26) Do you go online a lot?: too much
27) Are you shy or outgoing?: outgoing
28) Do you shower?: yep
29) Do you hate school?: i like expanding your education, but i think the system is shit
30) Do you have a social life?: yes
31) How easily do you trust people?: too easy
32) Have you ever lied to your best friends?: hahaha yess
33) Do you have a secret people would be surprised knowing?: yep
34) Would you ever sky dive?: yes
35) Do you like to dance?: all the time
36) Have you ever been out of state?: yes
37) Do you like to travel?: yes
38) Have you ever been suspended from school?: no
39) Do you want to get out of your hometown?: my town now, hell yeah
40) Are you spoiled?: yes
41) Are you a bitch?: sometimes, but i mean well
42) Have you ever been dumped?: yes for not doing things with him haha
43) What's your favorite drink?: water
44) Do you like Snapple?: yes
45) Do you drink a lot of water?: yes
46) What toothpaste do you use?: crest
47) Do you have a cell phone or pager?: cell
48) Do you have a curfew?: yeah
49) Who do you look up to?: genuine people and god
50) Are you a role model?: i want to be
51) What name brand do you wear the most?: forever 21
52) What kind of jewlery do you wear? my neew necklace
53) What do you have pierced?: ears, nose
54) What do you want pierced?: lip
55) Do you like taking pictures?: sometimes
56)Do you like getting your picture taken?: not really
57) Do you have a tan?: not really
58) Do you get annoyed easily?: sometimes
59) Have you ever started a rumor?: i hope not
60) Do you have your own phone/phone line?: my cell
61) Do you have your own pool?: my parent's owna pool
62) Do you have any siblings?: yes
63) Do you prefer boxers or briefs?: boxer briefs on the dudes
64) Have you ever been played?: i'm sure
65) Have you ever played someone?: no
66) Do you get along with your parents?: pretty much yes
67) How do you vent your anger?: cry haha
68) Have you ever ran away?: yeah
69) Have you ever been fired from a job?: nope
70) Do you even have a job?: no
71) Do you daydream a lot?: yes
72) Do you have a lot of ex's? nope
73) Do you talk constantly?: i try not to
74) What do you want a tattoo of?: asian fish and flowers
75) What do you have a tattoo of?: nada
76) What are your favorite flowers?: tulips
77) What does your ex look like?: brown hair hazel eyes tall
78) What does your crush look like? like a stone fox
79) When was the last time you bitched someone out?: in my livejournal
80) Are you rude?: i'm cold sometimes
81) What was the last compliment you received?: kairsten said i looked nice today
82) Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?: innie
83) What is your heritage? german, irish, indian
84) What does your hair look like right now?: pont tailll
85) Could you ever be a vegetarian?: mhmm i am one of those
86) When was your last real heartbreak?: when my uncle died
87) Describe your looks?: i don't think i'm that attractive
88) If you had to completely dye your hair it'd be what color: all blonde
89) Would you ever date someone younger than you?: not what i prefer, but sure
90) Would you ever date someone older than you?: yes
91) When was the last time you were drunk?: my birthday with my sister
92) When was the last time you went on a date?: i dont know, over 2 years
93) Would you rather give or receive oral sex?: booootthhh baby haha
94) Have you ever given?: yes
95) Have you ever received?: yes
96) Have you ever had an eating disorder?: i dont think so
97) Do you have one now?: no
98) How many rings until you answer the phone?: my phone is broke right now
99) Do you look more like your mother or father? : father
100) Do you cry a lot?: yes
101) Do you ever cry to get your way?: i hope not
102) If you had to amputate one limb, what would it be?: a toe
103) What phrase do you use most on the phone?: hello?
104) Are you the romantic type?: yes
105) Have you ever been chased by the cops? no
106) What do you like most about your body?: my freckles
107) What do you like least about your body?: stomach
108) When was the last time you threw up?: a few days ago
109) In the opposite sex, do you prefer blondes or brunettes?: brunettes
110) What do the shoes you last wore look like?: black flip flops
111) Do you ever wear shirts to show your belly?: no
112) What about cleavage?: yes
113) Is your best friend a virgin?: one is
114) Have you ever fucked someone up?: no
115) Have you ever been fucked up?: yes
116) What color are your toenails right now?: pink w/ flowers
117) What theme does your room have?: white and clean (we're trying to sell the house)
118) What size shoe do you wear?: 6 1/2-7
119) What jewelry are you wearing now?: necklace
120) What is your screenname?: casssiieee something like that
121) Would you pick a wedgie in public: hahaha yes
122) How are you feeling right now?: lonely
123) When was the last time you were at a party?: its been awhile
124) Have you ever given a lap dance?: haha jokingly i'm sure
125) What do you sleep in?: nothing? haha anything comfortable
126) Has there ever been a rumor spread about you?:yes
127) What is one of your bad qualities?: i put myself down too much and i speak my mind
128) What's one of your good qualities?: i care about things
129) Would you marry for money?: no
130) What do you drive?: volvo.. just sittin in the garage chillin
131) Have you ever hooked up with someone ?: as in?
132) Are you more of a mama or daddy's child? dad
133) When was the last time you cried in school?: hmm i dont remember
134) Do you wear Chucks?: what is that
135) For two million dollars, would you pose for Playboy?: i dont know, if i had a killer body and if it was more artistic
136) What time are you finishing this?: 2ish am

Do This Now

1. Who are you?

2. Are we friends?

3. When and how did we meet?

4. How have I affected you?

5. What do you think of me?

6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?

7. How long do you think we will be friends?

8. Do you love me?

9. Do you have a crush on me?

10. Would you kiss me?

11. Would you hug me?

12. Physically, what stands out?

13. Emotionally, what stands out?

14. Do you wish I was cooler?

15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?

16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.

17. Am I loveable?

18. How long have you known me?

19. Describe me in one word.

20. What was your first impression?

21. Do you still think that way about me now?

22. What do you think my weakness is?

23. Do you think I'll get married?

24. What makes me happy?

25. What makes me sad?

26. What reminds you of me?

27. If you could give me anything what would it be?

28. How well do you know me?

29. When's the last time you saw me?

30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?

31. Do you think I could kill someone?

33. Do you miss me?

34. Do you think i miss you?

i'm at kairsten's apartment, killing some time

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 03:50:04 GMT

i dont think people realize what they have
i dont like feeling that i'm being taken for granted
i know i'm nice and friendly, and i am because that's how i want to be treated
so grow up

Sat, 23 Jul 2005 23:36:30 GMT

my dad sat me down today and we talked by the pool. he's worried that soon my life will be moving too fast for me to handle.but deep down, i think i like having responsibility. i need to prove this to my parents, that i can do it. i can move away and live my life. then he told me that he thinks it would be best for me to skip first semester of school and to work and save up money..

i've been thinking about it, and it does sound like a good idea. so.. moving is getting pushed back.. again i guess, ha. september 1st.

soon, real soon i will be driving myself around. i don't know what has stopped me from going through with it, but i'm ready. i'm ready to start my life and to be a better person.

i feel like cleaning now

spanglish is a really good movie.

Thu, 21 Jul 2005 19:55:21 GMT

thanks to kennesaw daniel, i burned joanna newsom's cd.. and i am in love with her now.

i think melissa and i are going to hang out tonight. last night was amazing with the girls. we went to the olive garden and i drank waaay too much coffee at starbucks (like always). melissa tried the new green tea frap.. and it tasted weird.. and yes i had a sip even though it probably had milk in it.

my stomach was killing my all night, so i thought today i would be in a bad mood.. but i am so happy..?

i love everyone in my life right now.. new friends and old.
everyone should go to aaron's appartment tomorrow night for his all acoustic show. i have a feeling it's going to be a fun night

i'm getting a lot more freckles, which i thought would be impossible.
but i like them and i don't understand why some people want to get plastic surgery to change their entire face around.

beauty is in everyone
i love you friends

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 03:22:58 GMT

new screen name: caaassssiiie

so talk to me pleeease
ok love you

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 23:45:54 GMT

everyone is busy tonight so i'm going to paint
i'm sick of writing in my real journal.. i swear too much and say mean things about boys and myself.

i want to go to the dollar movie tonight because i have 3 dollars
i don't really want to go with a boy though, i'm sick of them.
except for austin powers because it's on right now and i love hairy chests..? ick

call me because i love all of you

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 01:00:57 GMT

i just need to chill the hell out and stop acting like such a girl

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 15:52:24 GMT

ok, i am not going to be an angry person anymore. in a little more than a week i will be away from these people pissing me off... so i might as well get over it now. i love them, but they just frustrate the heck out of me.

when your friends call, call them back
maybe i expect too much out of people..?

my grandparents are in town, so obviously i really want to get out of here.

some people i'm just not going to miss.. <3

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 18:56:08 GMT

holy crap i am moving in 12 days

so turns out my sister and i will be living in a hotel for a little bit until the house is done

wow this summer ruuules

k, m and i went bra shopping today and bought wonder bras.. and MAN they do wonders.. pssh

i hope melissa and i go out tonight and see a certain boy's sexy behind

ok well that's all that is going on with me right now
i got my summer kiss(!!)+plus some more kisses..hehe
i love a certain two girls
and God is really cool and great to me

Sat, 02 Jul 2005 00:55:44 GMT

i've been cleaning all day and i'm very happy about it. about a month ago i compiled all of my past relationship things and put them in an old shoe box... today i threw the box away and i love that feeling.

i thought i was hanging out with the girls tonight.... but i guess not? i really have no idea what is going on right now

tomorrow we're moving kairsten into kennesaw.. very early in the morning, then i'm going home and doing nothing.. like always lately.

20-something days and i will be out of georgia

i hate being "reliable" all the time

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 02:38:22 GMT

here's where i talk about all of the amazing SEXXX i had tonight...

no, but really i had a nice day with a cute boy.

i pray for:
kairsten's strength to heal and to show off her pearly whites asap

melissa's patience and creativity as she has to find entertaining things to do at her house

daryl's half deaf ear

and anyone else out there reaching for a hand to hold

you're not alone

Fri, 24 Jun 2005 21:46:57 GMT

i've been really bored lately.. and i've fallen behind on my packing. other than that everything has been great..

the other night we spent the night at melissas... girl-talked.. you know.
it was fun and i feel like we're all more comfortable with eachother now...
well, i'm more comfortable with them now. so that night they decided to talk to this guy for me. friends know best, i guess.. ha. we all headed off to his place last night after we ate delicious ponko.. and ok.. "journal"-- i have never wanted to kiss a boy so bad..

i probably sound like the biggest dork right now, but i'm just being honest.. a girl gotta get her some every now and then(!!!)

ok i am going to stop typing now...
-please pray for kairsten and joy's health
-melissa getting her car back
-and all of those unspoken prayers

Lord you are love, You are everything

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 14:05:43 GMT

jojo is very sick, and he is getting worse. both of his back legs are now paralyzed :( please pray for him